Oh that kid

is amazing. never in my life have i ever met someone like that boy. i dont just mean that in a romantic way. if we were not together and we still got as close as we are now, i would still feel the same way.  Intriguing, Ambitious. Hilarious.. and he gets me like no other person can. 

oh that kid is something else. 

and (even better) he makes me something else.

something that i like being 

completely and utterly happy.  

like a rock.

nothing makes me happier than being a rock for someone. being there to help a friend in their time of need. but sometimes, Im the one who needs reassurance, the one who needs to be told "everything is going to be alright".

i realized today just how terrified i am of the future. i just wish someone could see that. 

the girl who always smiles.

Ashley: Every time i see you, you have a smile on your face and i don't understand why. After everything you have been through it seems like someone like you should be MORE than depressed. 

Elena: Yea Ash i have been through some shit but haven't we all? sometimes bad things happen and there is nothing that i or you or anyone can do to prevent that. its so easy to see the bad  things in life because we have lost interest in the good things. we take them for granted. the bad always out weighs the good but why? i still have my family, my TRUE friends, and my faith. there is nothing in the world, NOTHING, that is so bad that it makes me forget how happy those three things make me. i think that there is something good that comes out of every situation you just have to look for it.  it takes more energy to be angry than it does to be happy. No one WANTS to be sad. I smile because i have everything i could ever want. I think thats why i like to help people so much. Sometimes we forget how much we have to smile about 

Now What?

i can remember when i first entered high school. it was a race to the finish line. as a 9th grader, all i cold think about was getting high school over with. and now that i can see a light in the horizon, i find myself trying to take baby steps in order to hold on to school as much as i can. its weird to think that after june 5th, i wont be looking forward to seeing green and white in august but blue and white instead. come august, i will be answering the million dollar question, "NOW WHAT". Now what? Oh well let me tell you what. now we get into our Sunday's finest. we pull on those gowns, we put on our caps, straighten our tassels, we wish each other luck and promise to hang out at least once over the summer. then my friends we do the hardest thing we might ever have to do which is say goodbye and go in our separate ways. are we ready for it? are you ready for it? am i ready for it? as much as i say i hate high school, at the end of the day, it was because of high school that some of our relationships were able to grow. some of my best memories were at upland high school. some of the best people i will ever have the pleasure of knowing were at upland high school. this is  the place where i grew up and the place where i became the person that you see today. 

Oh Well Excuse Me

hello, 

somewhere along this voyage of life i have lost my way and while at first i was afraid of being adrift, i have come to enjoy walking around in the dark. 

oh the people you meet and the places you go when you are lost.